How it feels like to be a beginner?

If you are wondering how other people feels when they start something new then you should not think much. because all of us including me feels the same as you are feeling. Here’s my story comes.

I am totally new to this platform and this is my first blog post here in medium. And it feels really uncomfortable to write this post. I am feeling like a stupid. And asking myself hundred times per minute what am I really doing? I am sure that tomorrow when I wake up I will feel too awkward that I might delete this post. But I hope I don’t do that tomorrow morning.

Waking up today morning I was roaming around youtube instead of concentrating my online class(You know its pandemic situation). And I found a video about 9 passive income ideas that you can hustle beside your primary job. After that video another video starts playing automatically about writing something online to tell your stories. I really liked the video. Thanks to Ali Abdaal for these contents on youtube. He speaks well. And don’t think this is a promotional post from him or anyone. I am just really grateful to him.

I have attempted to write blog posts many times in my life. I started building my own website from scratch, started blogger, started wordpress and I failed miserably every time. Every time I start with so much enthusiasm and after some days I quit. Still I find the tools installed in my computer but I don’t do anything actually. So, it’s common to start and quit. But I think staying quit for a long time is boring. Lets start again, again fail, quit and pause. Then start again. Basically I am not telling you all these rather telling it to myself. I am feeling really good to talk here because I find I am feeling good talking to myself.

In the video about writing blog post online Ali mentioned a book named Show Your Work by Austin Kleon. You can check it out online(again this is not a promotional post). So I downloaded the book online(obviously its pdf and its free but not recommended for you guys!), uploaded it to my google drive and took it to my smartphone and start reading it. And read about only two pages and I find the book is interesting. I don’t know whether I will finish the book or not but really its totally okay not to finish a book after starting it. Even if you start reading the book don’t feel bad if you don’t finish it.

If I say something about myself then I should say I have interest in many things. And started learning many things but never finished most of the thing. Like I bought a Violin from a friend of my sister. I was so enthusiastic about the instrument. And I was dreaming that I will become such a pro. But after more than one year since I bought its inside its box and the box is under my bed. And I am still a beginner.

My parents didn’t taught me how to ride a bike so I never learned. So after becoming adult I bought a bike myself, learned to ride from my friends, had some long range tours around 50 km(that’s long ride for me but maybe not for you) some couple of times. And I don’t ride that bike. I think its lost.

I also started learning video editing and graphics designing from youtube. Learned some couple of tricks, made some cool staff and I don’t do that anymore.

Again also with the game development. Learned some game development using Unity. Built a small game. And quit.

If I look at my life I see all the failures. And find myself as beginner at everything I started. And I am okay with it. I know people might laugh but that fine. At least I am trying something to do. Something to learn. At least I am moving. And I sure it’s also your story. So its fine buddy. You are moving. You didn’t stop. One day you will find your niche. And that day you will do miracles. Until then you are still amazing(I am telling myself amazing also mate!).

So, don’t stop. Stay beginner. If you feel stupid like me that’s totally okay. Because without being stupid no one succeeded. And to grow, to go higher you and I need to keep trying till we reach our peace. Until then stay fine and do your things.